As I've said before, It's Life

I am choosing to believe the words of Francesca Battistelli, This Is The Stuff - "...In the middle of my little mess. I forget how big I'm blessed...I've gotta trust. You know exactly what You're doing. Might not be what I would choose. But this is the stuff You use." I'm so very thankful for a Heavenly Father who cares about me and He does use my silliness. He does know exactly what He is doing!

How about you - how do you make the priority changes desperately needed when stupid, little things consume day after day? How do you learn to not let it get to you and distract you?

Even knowing this in my head - I'm feeling very frustrated with life. There are several things I want to get done and just can't seem to. I read posts about needing to let go and I really want to and then 15bazillion things happen all at once. Just to help you understand the basis of this rambling post.... :-D.

This is a petty little example of one of those 15bazillion little things from the last week: Last Monday, dad & mom's front door knob decided to give out/seize up. It was in the last hours my brother and his family were here. Totally weird. Worked all day just fine. Then it would not open. We pried with screwdrivers but it wasn't going to budge. Fine. Being a DIY family, we took the door off the hinges to remove the core of the doorknob so we could at least still use the door. We are just using the dead bolt to latch the door. Not a big deal.

I had almost a week to pickup a new doorknob before some family came to stay at dad & mom's for a couple weeks. Of course, I didn't do it earlier in the week (fought and won with a computer instead, more on this later) - so, family is coming in 4 hours and I'm at Lowe's to buy a doorknob. After seeing there are 100+ doorknobs to choose from I had this overwhelmed feeling of "this is personal! it's the front door, the first thing people see - mom should be choosing the look of her new doorknob, not me." So, I call her to ask - her response, "why would I care - it's just a doorknob"...okay, I'm weird. {I happen to really dislike the doorknob that is my front door - I care. Guess it's just me}

After checking out all the options, explanations, and multiple discussions with the sales person, I got even more overwhelmed with the choices - this is important {even if it is just me who thinks so!} and I'd plan to run into Lowe's, grab it, and get out. (we had already been in town 6 hours-it was time to go home!) It's now been 20+ minutes, I'm tired and I have to finish getting things cleaned up before family gets there. I decide on one that looks almost identical to the one that broke. (that way it is a non-decision and can't be bad, right?) Apparently, the one that broke was commercial grade and shouldn't have broken. Whatever. The sales person didn't believe we really wanted a commercial grade and not a more personal look. I'm done. I want the same thing as we had before. I saw it didn't have a lock on the inside and I thought "Oh, good. It won't get accidentally locked". (The other one would bump the wall and lock us out at random times.)

I get home, get other more important cleaning things done and start in on changing out the doorknob. Matt (my youngest bro) happened to be there and watch me start - he was impressed I pulled the handle portion off as quick as I did and said he could tell I'd get it done faster {I did tell him Zach had shown me what to do} so he went on his way. I did get it done and without too much effort.

However.... It was an autolock doorknob! Meant for storage closets to be only ever opened with a key!!!!!! Aargghhhh!!!! Seriously! So, no - it was going to lock us out randomly - but EVERY TIME THE DOOR SHUT! I was so frustrated. If it wasn't for the four people watching me I totally would have screamed and burst into tears. Instead, I took it back out put it all away and re-installed the broken doorknob, with no core. This whole stupid doorknob has now consumed almost 3 hours of my last week. Three hours I didn't have. And I still have to take it back, find the right one, come home and go through the install process again. {sigh}

This is the stuff that is driving me crazy!

• I really want life to slow down! {I'm feeling pretty pouty about this}
• I want more time {not so much more - but better spent.}
• I want to learn how to better use my new camera {right now I can't get it to focus or download photos with a cord!}
• I want to sew... so many projects {I've managed to mess something up and it's skipping a stitch - am I really going to have to take it in?}
• I want to learn how to use Adobe CS5, Lightroom, and my Wacom Tablet {I've had them all over a year now - seriously!}
• I want to get house projects finished {they've been in my head for months - I even have the supplies! back to the time issue}
• I want to be more effective with home schooling {We love home schooling and I don't like when it feels like a burden because priorities are out of whack!}
• I want everything put away {so my house can be clean}
• I want a place for everything {so it can be cleaned up and put away}
• I want some life answers {job and home business - what direction am I going to go?}

I have been letting these things get to me {I should clarify, the lack of accomplishing these things is getting to me}. Again. {deep sigh} But - I am still going to Choose Joy!

*Lyrics to "This Is The Stuff":

I lost my keys in the great unknown

And call me please

'Cause I can't find my phone

This is the stuff

That drives me crazy

This is the stuff

That's getting to me lately

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff

That gets under my skin

But I've gotta trust

You know exactly what You're doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this is the stuff You use

45 in a 35

Sirens and fines

While I'm running behind

This is the stuff

That drives me crazy

This is the stuff

That's getting to me lately

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff

That gets under my skin

But I've gotta trust

You know exactly what You're doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this is the stuff You use...

...To break me of impatience

Conquer my frustrations

I've got a new appreciation

It's not the end of the world...

This is the stuff

That drives me crazy

This is the stuff

Someone save me

In the middle of my little mess

I forget how big I'm blessed

This is the stuff

That gets under my skin

But I've gotta trust

You know exactly what You're doing

Might not be what I would choose

But this is the stuff You use

This is the stuff You use

More states, more family…more of 2011’s many adventures

{Important Note} I want to make a simple statement with complex depth - I know I am incredibly blessed. Not only does my immediate family get along well and love each other incredibly; my extended family is no different. There are now 29 of us (first cousins, spouses, and children) plus our 2 sets of parents; we have an amazing family heritage that none of us take for granted. We currently live in 3 states; 6 towns/cities; and 2 countries.

(our 2011 continued...)

mid-June: We landed late Friday night the 16th, my cousin Jon picked us up and took us to their house. My aunt & uncle were there as well for overnight because they’d driven up from Madison, WI. Saturday morning we all (11 of us – 5 adults + 6 children) piled into two suburbans and drove to Nate & Christina’s, house 2 hours away. We spent a couple days there with all of us (18) in one house and had a blast!

A little note of explanation: I grew up with my two brothers, three boy cousins (there are two more cousins, but I didn’t grow up with them), and family friends with three boys. At the time my cousins lived just up the road from us, I have many fond memories of all our family gatherings. They were good years with many good times. Now, 25+ years later we all have children and our kids all get along very well. Eight years ago my kids and I were living in my old childhood home to help take care of my grandparents (my dad’s parents). Three weeks after we got there my grandma passed away; shortly after my grandpa started kidney dialysis three times per week. My kids and I were able to stay on and help with his adjustment of not having grandma after nearly 60 years of marriage and the effects of dialysis. At that time Nate & Christina lived across the field and we got to know each other real well; it was so much fun. It was fun to have an adult relationship with my cousin; his wife, Christina, and I get along real well and have similar interests.

Then we went multiple directions for the week. Uncle Dave & Aunt Sharon returned to Madison and my kids and I followed Jon & Kathy back to their house, near the border of MN and WI. It was really fun to hang out with Jon & Kathy and their kids. We didn’t know them as well because we hadn’t had the chance while living with Grandpa to spend time together. On Monday evening Kathy & I, with the kids, joined Jon at the Science Museum in Minneapolis. WOW! We’ve never been to such a big museum – it was a ton of fun. Jon explained so much more to the kids and made it so much fun – Science is his thing. :-) The rest of the week was spent getting to know each other better, late night visits, and my first antique store visit - in general lots of just hanging out together. It was cool & rainy and so much fun to spend the time just drinking coffee, visiting, and holding baby Gregory. One day we went to walk along the river, but there was a painting class all set up along the bank and at the “mouth” of the trail we had planned to walk – because it was cold & windy we decided not to disturb them to get 6 children past, just to turn around and come back … but we got good cousin pictures by the bridge :-)!

On Friday, my kids & I headed out to Madison on our own. It was very strange, it is landscape I recognize, remember, and love – so much farm country; yet it seemed so foreign too. We drove it several times when we were living there six years ago, but this time it was just us – without Grandpa. We went to Madison to celebrate my Uncle Dave’s retirement. (I have two uncles, one from each side of the family, both are named David). It was a wonderful weekend with many friends and family. Saturday morning a family friend (my aunts best friend) invited all of us to breakfast, then she took Christine & I to the capital for a tour. I didn’t know this was an interest of Christine’s but she LOVED it! Then we went to Hobby Lobby (my first time ever!), we had to be quick …it was so hard. There was so much that was fun, but it wouldn’t fit in my luggage to get back to Alaska! When we got back to the house, Nate & Christina had arrived with their kids. My aunt & uncle’s landlord are very good friends of theirs; they have lived side-by-side in the duplex for nearly 20 years. Anyway, the landlord’s friends had invited us (kids and our children) to use their pool on Saturday afternoon. All of the kids loved the heated pool on a beautiful, sunny day. They played hard for a couple hours. Then we all went back and started to get everything finished up for Sunday’s party. Christina and I ran out to get a few more groceries and other items needed for the party. We did sneak another quick trip into Hobby Lobby, then Wal-mart, and brought back dinner. Sunday after church was the retirement party, clean up, and a late evening bonfire. So many friends and family were there, some I hadn’t seen since I was in 6^th grade. Then on Monday the guys were doing some packing and loading trucks, so we girls (16 of us) went to Olbrich Gardens. It was so much fun. Aunt Sharon, Gabby, Christine & I went when we visited with Grandpa once and it was fun to go back. The rest of them had gone in different groups over the last year as well. When we got back to the house it was time for lunch and then Nate, Christina, and I with all our children (7) piled into the two vehicles and headed north. Only two came with Christina & I in the car, Nate took the other 5 and pulled the trailer. It was fun – so much happened in such a short amount of time!

Nate and Christina live near where I spent many happy childhood years growing up in northern Wisconsin. We spent the week hanging out, they live on a lake and the kids were wet and/or fishing most of every day. Tuesday evening Christina & I drove an hour to Sam’s Club just to find they had closed a half hour before we got there. We were getting the groceries needed for the upcoming 4^th of July weekend…so we did a little other shopping and headed back home knowing we’d head back up Friday morning when the guys were going to go south to get a bunch of wheat. The weekend ahead was going to be 30 of us all staying at the same house. We spent the next couple days just relaxing and enjoying hanging out, much like the week prior – just a different family of cousins. Thursday night we had a plan and all was going well – Uncle Dave would be coming in early AM and the guys, all of them even the 2 year old, were going to drive south to get the wheat. By noon, Christina & I and the 4 girls (ages 12, 10, 9, & 7) were going to drive north to do a girl day of shopping and get the groceries we didn’t get on Tues. The other 19 would then arrive Saturday morning.

July 1^st - Friday morning started a bit stressful and not very fun, and the day went downhill from there – with an absolutely wonderful afternoon in the middle. So, very early in the morning Nate realized the water pump had gone out during the night. He was able to get a hold of a family friend who has a plumbing business, he said he’d stop by on his way to another job. He actually had the part and was able to get the pump fixed and up and running. Then we all loaded up to head out, the guys to the south and the girls to the north. We girls had a blast; I have never been on a shopping trip like that before. So much fun to just go from girly place to girly place and hear our girls’ hearts being filled with love just from hangin’ with us. We even found a few good deals and some more summer clothes (we hadn’t taken cool enough clothes for mid-west summer). When we walked out of the mall it was starting to sprinkle, one of the little ones was so excited to have a new umbrella and wanted to use it….well, the rain went from little sprinkles to DUMPING about half way to the car! She got to use her umbrella and many were taking cover with her before getting to the car. Those of us not under the umbrella were soaked, thoroughly. It continued to dump, hard. We decided to not go to a restaurant for dinner, but just head to Sam’s Club, the girls were all so content they were fine with just eating at Sam’s. We got our groceries and when we were leaving Sam’s it was raining so hard Christina could barely see while driving down the hill out of Duluth and across the bridge. It was about 7pm and we were headed back towards the house, but first needed to stop at Wal-mart (in Superior) to get a few more items. By the time we got to town we were aware there was really unfriendly weather all around us. Icky colored sky and dumping rain with thunder & lightening. We started hearing on the news there were tornado warnings and the wind was starting to blow like crazy…. We were doing lots of praying and singing along with KLOVE to keep from going totally over the edge of being freaked. We knew Who was in control of all the circumstances and we just kept reminding ourselves & each other. Christina was in contact with her family who were camped at a campground near her house and found out they had just been told to leave, she told them to all go to her house even though there was no power in the area. In talking to Christina’s brother-in-law, who was on his way to her house (instead of the campground), he had to cut his way down the highway with his chainsaw. Okay, we were freaked. However, God had everything so orchestrated that we met up with the guys at the crossroads of the two highways – us driving south, them coming north, and we all needed to drive east. We were able to pass them some snacks and then we were off; from that point on we followed them. As they drove north they saw the mass destruction from the storm, where we came from the north and it was just rain. As we followed them, we several times had to drive on the opposite side of the road because only the tops of the trees had been cut and that was just to clear one side of the road. By the time we got to the house it was 10pm. (what should have been a 30-45 min drive had been nearly 2 hours) There were three trees across the driveway that Christina’s BIL cut to get into the driveway. We then had to unload all the groceries in the pitch black with just headlights and flashlights to see with. All the freezer/frig food was sorted so it could all be put into the frig/freezer at once. As we drove and saw the destruction we knew the power would not be back on any time soon. The next morning the guys got us a generator and the rest of our family came. We proceeded to have a wonderful weekend! We spent the 4^th of July floating down the Namekagon River (and getting majorly sunburned!).

The rest of our time was spent enjoying each other; coffee and diet coke; lots of hanging out; visiting; coffee and diet coke; swimming; fishing; enjoying the pontoon boat, with coffee or diet coke (of course) depending on time of day – morning, afternoon, or evening. After all the other families returned to their homes and we got the house back into order after a weekend of no water or power, but LOTS of fellowship; Christina and I took the kids into Superior. Superior is where I spent seven wonderful years of childhood; it was so fun to see places that are familiar and things really haven’t changed much. It’s not a city. I got to go into my first ever quilt store with the intention of buying material. We let the kids watch a movie in the car while we went in – it was soooo much fun to see all the variety, choose some, and then actually purchase it! {That could be addicting!!!!} I’m used to going in to touch and feel, but not buy. I’ve typically purchased fabric from Jo-Ann’s and their selection of good feeling material is much smaller. {sigh} Anyway, the next day we went to another town half way to Jon & Kathy’s (we had to do some return kid swapping) and went into an antique store, another quilt store and then the three of us took all 11 children to see Cars2. In the end the three youngest didn’t do so well in the movie, so it was eight children and myself who watched it all then walked the couple blocks to the scrapbook store……oh, the fun of tons of kids and family and all being together. Love it! After that, we had just a week of hanging and being slow when it was time to pack and head to Jon & Kathy’s again for the last couple days. Jon was gone on a business trip so Christina and her kids joined in staying at Jon & Kathy’s. The last couple days was more hanging (with coffee and diet coke), packing (with coffee and diet coke), and visiting (with more coffee and diet coke) – what we didn’t do was sleep. The last afternoon Kathy took the kids & I to the airport – it was so hard to say goodbye. Is it not a most amazing blessing to spend a month with family and still have it hard to say goodbye – on both sides?! Thank you Christina and Kathy for your amazing, generous, and kind hearts – I love you both so much!

Rest of July & August: We flew back to Alaska on the 15^th. Within 18 hours of landing (at 11pm) we had come home, unpacked, washed laundry, slept a couple hours, got up, re-packed, re-loaded the van and headed to our family cabin six hours away. It is a six hour drive, then a half hour boat ride, then a half mile hike up the hill… At that point, I slept. Two days later Vince turned 14! Two days after that Christine, my mom, and I headed back home. Vince stayed to work on the new cabin with my dad. Once home again I started some house projects and minimal organizing…as well as finishing unpacking and actually putting some stuff away. (Finally, just three days ago I finished putting away some things from our trip that I’d unpacked, set down, and never got back to!) I actually started my first house project I’ve wanted to do for several years. I will post more on this later, but the end of July I ripped out my living room carpet! My dad wasn’t (still isn’t) impressed. I love it! My living room is just the plywood sub-floor (now painted), but I love it, Love IT, LOVE IT!

September: Before I knew it, it was time to start school! Then an opportunity came up for Vince and I to join my dad on a trip to Washington DC. I was so excited! I have wanted to go to Washington DC and the East Coast for forever (seriously, since I was like 8). Many hours were spent deciding what we would do in our time there. September went really fast with all kinds of life - cleaning, school, the fair, work, some projects, and lots of DC planning.

October: We had four days of exploring and a day before and after for travel days. {Do you know that it takes 10 hours to get from Anchorage to DC and that was with a fairly quick stop over in Seattle; the trip back took us 18 hours! (we had an added stop over in LA) Christine stayed with mom; she didn’t want to go with us – she didn’t want to do the massive walking we were going to be doing. It was really cool to go and be with Vince; he was amazing on the subway! There were times I got a bit freaked about how far below ground we were – and going under a river – ack! We never got lost- once we were a block off from where we thought we’d come up from underground, but yea for iPhone’s – we were able to find our location in moments. We didn’t make it into as many of the Smithsonian’s as I would have tried to see; I let Vince be the ‘driver’ of where we went and what we saw. We went to the Air & Space Museum – twice J! We stood in line and went into the Capital, but once we were inside we decided we really wanted to wait for someday, with Christine. She loves seeing capital buildings. It was close to 70* each day, we didn’t bring cool enough clothes – it was October. I brought layers, but the lightest ones were more than we needed. We were warm and walked lots! By the time we returned from DC we were four weeks from my brother Zach and his wife and kids to come home from the Philippines. This was the magical month I got to get my new camera - a Nikon D3100! So excited and anxious to learn more!! Lots more house projects, organizing, and cleaning were started, but I also had an unexpected increase in my work load which really changed things up.

November & December: Zach, Jane, and their kids arrived on the 7^th of November. Since then it has been lots of family – all day, every day. Five adults, five children, three generations, three sets of parents, three sets of siblings, two spousal sets, and a set of cousins all living in the same main 1600sf house (my apartment and the cabin in the back yard are not included in that) makes for fun times. When my other brother, his wife, and their little one come there that adds another parental set, spousal set, and cousin set to the mix of our immediate family of 13. We have had an incredibly, abundantly more than we could imagine, family-full holiday season. In November I was able to get my new sewing machine - for 14 years I've used a 1942 Viking Husqvarna. I still love that machine greatly - however, I really needed more than straight front and back stitching. {I'm sure more will come on this later :-D} Within three weeks it will be just my brother Matt and his family and my kids and I here. We will be back to living in two countries and two towns in Alaska. Crazy how accessible the world is now. I remember when cheap communication was snail mail and that took weeks to get from the lower 48 to Alaska…now we can instantly talk to family via video when they’re in the Philippines-for free.

And that wraps up 2011. None of what I have written even goes into all the personal growth I experienced this last year, or even so many things I learned. What I feel comfortable broadcasting on the internet will come out in bits and pieces as time goes by I’m sure. For now though this is a nutshell of the big events of our last year.

….notice none of this very long winded year in review covered anything basic like crafting, organizing, home school, and being a mom to two. :-D! I promise, I won't have more posts that are this long winded. And, I will start putting in photos of projects that have happened around this house over the last year and new projects I've been working on --- like the doll clothes I made last week. So fun! Thanks for reading - if you've actually read all of this you've learned more about me :-).