{sigh}...

Oh, my heart is happy, happy, happy.  I am in a location I very dearly love.  I have both kids here with me.  AND I have had communication with both of my brothers today - one I got to see & hug and one was via several emails.  {sigh}  From Sept-May my brother, Matt, lives 2 miles up the road from us....it has been over a month since I've seen him.  He kept working out of town this winter, so I've seen him probably 10 times (other than in passing at church) since January - pathetic!  (however, we get his cute little girlie once or twice a week...)  So, he flew down here today bringing a potential work crew to see about framing up the new cabin.  We got to see him for a couple hours before they had to head back.

Would you like to see my view when I work here?  Good, here is my view from sitting on the couch.  Also, I am sleeping on the couch (100% by choice) so I can enjoy this view to its fullest.  I love, Love, LOVE waking up during the night/early morning and seeing the mountains with the sun coming over them.  I soak it up.  I love waking up and just knowing this is my view -- it really does satisfy my core.

Can you even believe this?!  It makes me so, so happy.  Even when I spend hours on the computer here - this is what I get to look up and see.  To my right are two windows just about six inches shorter than the one straight ahead that opens.  The two on the right don't open.  This is basically the whole room - it is 16x16; and two of the four walls are basically windows.  Totally my kinds of room!  The metal ladder will not be the permanent access to the loft above, but it is what we use for right now.  See that "pole" on the left side?  That is actually a tree, it goes through the floor and the roots are still in the ground under the cabin.  I will show you more pictures of that tree later - but for today, that is all you'll see.  'Cuz I'm still gushing over my view...can not get enough of it!

When I stand at the tree, in the center of the room - this is what I see.  I NEVER get tired of this view - it just really sets everything right for me.

This is when I step out the door.  {sigh}

Thank You Lord, it is only because of Your provision this haven on earth is possible for our family.  

I can not even begin to express how much being here makes me happy...I have ached for six years to be able to come and just be.  We are basically glorified camping -- we have an outhouse, our kitchen sink is outside (rain or shine, we wash dishes outside), our shower -- oh, wait until I show you the shower!, we have to fill our 300 gal water tank every couple days, and in general it simply is not convenient.  But it is oh, so very wonderful and worth every bit of extra work it takes just to live here! 

Freedom!

We are greatly blessed, and I don't ever want to take our freedom for granted.  Today is a day set aside to remember, honor, and thank those who sacrificed their lives for our freedom.  If you are someone active in the military or you have a spouse active in the military, thank you.  For those who have close family or friends active in the military - so we can all enjoy our freedom - thank you.  The person gone for active duty needs the support you provide.

My kids & I went to a local memorial event with my dad today.  As you can see, we had quite the visual real-life background behind the speakers.  My pictures once again didn't turn out - but the trees were a brilliant spring green.  At one point a super cub flew between us and the mountains.  Yesterday was very cold & wet, and now it is overcast and much cooler than it was earlier.  At the time of the outdoor event - it was gorgeous!  It was a good thing we had the breeze, there were moments I actually thought I might get hot. :-)

An interesting fact we learned from one of the speakers - Memorial Day was first celebrated 100 years before Alaska even became a state.  Alaska just celebrated 50 years of statehood a couple years ago...does that help you grasp how incredibly young our state is?!  I know this, but sometimes when put in context it really gets me.

Thank you to the many individuals and families 

who have sacrificed their time and lives for our freedom.  

Heritage & Inheritance

Heritage: Something somebody is born to, riches of past, something passing from generation to generation, legal inheritance

Inheritance: inherited wealth or title; ownership or succession by heredity; right to inherit; heritage; transmission of genetically controlled characteristics; creation of object with same variables

These definitions come from MSWords dictionary look up feature.  While I realize this is an accurate definition, and is more frequently thought of in monetary sense.  This has not been my experience of these words.  

~~~

I do not come from a family rich in a monetary sense; but we are immeasurably wealthy in family & friendships.  Also, basically any one I have ever known professes their own personal relationship with Christ.  That alone is rich.  The older I get, the more I realize how rare this is - not just multiple generations of my family back as far as we know (on both mom & dad's side), but our friends as well.  I grew up {birth-7 in Anchorage, Alaska; ages 7-14 in Northern Wisconsin; and 14+ back in Alaska} recycling and reusing, before it was “the thing to do” or considered “green”.  We did it out of necessity.  

We didn’t have money to go buy a cute bin to organize things in, we used a cardboard box, empty jar, plastic container, or can of some sort – if you wanted it pretty, you covered it in paint, paper, or material…mostly it was just left as-is.  We had families who blessed us with hand-me downs.  I do remember in later years, after moving back to Alaska, there were more trips to stores.  At that point my dad had a good job and wasn’t going to school.  When in Wisconsin we grew and prepared all our food, it wasn’t packaged, convenience food.  If we went to town, you ate at home before leaving and if you were going to be gone a long time you packed food.  We didn’t go out-to-eat.  It was not even a question.  Simple.  It was the way we did life.  

Because of my inability to appreciate the resourcefulness and lack of visual continuity of random containers for organizing, it drove me nuts!  I’m all about the visual and had a hard time appreciating sewing notions in an “It’s all about butter” or “Cool Whip” container.  Ugh! and leftovers in random food containers…you had to open each one to see what was inside.  As I write this I realize those containers must have been hand-me down’s of a sort….we didn’t have foods like Cool Whip, and we always had real butter.  Funny, I never realized that before.

Once we moved back up to Alaska, we went from living on a 40-acre farm in the country, to a duplex on a cul-de-sac, in a subdivision.  I remember those were a couple of the funniest words I’d ever heard.  We lived there about a year, then mom & dad bought a home out of town and in the “country” we were in a house and had just over 2 acres, in a subdivision.  It is where we live now.

In Wisconsin we ground our wheat berries and mom (or myself) made the bread we ate each week.  We made four loaves of whole wheat bread at a time in the Bosch, at least once and sometimes twice, a week.  This bread was used as payment for my piano lessons, even after moving back up to Alaska – the wheat grinder and Bosch came with us, and this form of payment continued.  Others LOVED mom’s homemade bread.  To us it was normal, we didn’t eat store bought bread.  I always assumed this was because it was too expensive, I don’t really know why.  As much as I’ve wanted to carry on making bread - I don’t, because it’s too expensive to make.  Not when I can get the bread my kids like for $2.50/loaf, and they don’t even eat four loaves in a month.  (they aren’t big sandwich eaters)

In Wisconsin we had a garden the size of a football field.  We stored our produce in the cellar for the winter.  I’m sure we had venison, but I remember our beef cows; they were our “pets” – named Hamburger, Steak, and Meatball.  Guess where our meat came from?  My brothers loved to discuss {while eating dinner} which one we were eating!  It took me many, many years {as in up to about five years ago} to handle raw meat, cook it, and eat the meal in the same day.  I still will NOT eat grilled pieces of moose while we package it though – that is just too gross!

For clothes, we had friends who gave us their hand-me downs.  I don’t know where the clothes for my brothers came from; I do remember my clothes came from a friend.  My most favorite dress came from her.  Her mom made it for a special school program; it was navy, with cream accents – I can still visualize it & it still makes my heart happy. :-), I was so excited when I got it and it fit! {she & I were very different shapes - her tall & lean; me, not so much}  I don’t think I have ever felt as beautiful in anything as that dress.  I’m sure mom got some clothes at thrift stores, but I don’t remember ever shopping for clothes, or even consciously thinking about clothes coming from stores. 

Last weekend was a weekend...  Right now our church is in an eight day stretch of five funerals, five weddings, baby shower(s), and multiple graduations.  Talk about covering every major aspect in life!  Our family had a couple additional events from our two other church family connections.

I only made it to one graduation, one wedding, one funeral, and one graduation open house.  Each of these events were from different eras of my life as well.  The graduation was for a dear girl still struggling to find her solid identity in Christ, she knows, but life events have made it hard for her to hang onto this truth for herself.  This connection is from the last 12 years of my life, I started with teaching her 3^rd & 4^th grade Sunday School somewhere during 2000-2003*.  The wedding was from a family I don’t know life without.  I don't know if my parents knew them when I was born, or not until I was three - regardless, we are talking 35+ years of their strong friendship.  We had three generations gathered and hanging together – the wedding was for the granddaughter of the other couple [first generation].  The others at the reception were also from the 30+ years of friendship category.  It is the church family from my birth-7 years of living in Anchorage and the first year back in Alaska.  We kids [middle generation] haven’t done as well with connecting – only when the parents plan it….but there were several of our group getting to re-connect, while our kids [third generation] played.  The funeral was from a mom-to-mom connection in Bible Study, again from life during 2000-2003.  Her 22 year old son had passed away.  I also have a connection with teaching her 21 year old daughter in Awana, again back in 2000-2003, and later during my years as a youth group leader in 2007-2010.  So, my reasoning for being there was two fold – mom & daughter.  From the funeral I went downstairs in our church, to get my mom & daughter from a baby shower.  The baby shower was for one of the daughters of my high school piano teacher.  The girl who now cuts my son’s hair.  Again, we are talking three generations, different group of people and 25+ years of connection.  From there we drove to the graduation open house.  The graduation open house was for the 2^nd son of the same friend I got my clothes from in Wisconsin.  Her parents are here, of course, and again, I was in a gathering of people where we had three generations of connection, we are again talking 35+ years of connection – but a totally different group of people.  Also, her in-laws were people my dad had gone to school with…back in Wisconsin, as a child.  Back to this friend of mine – her daughter & mine are just a couple months apart.  She passes clothes to my daughter; again two different body shapes, but it is the bulk of what my daughter has worn in her whole life.  She also sent clothes for my son (from her three boys) last week. 

We are so very, very blessed!  We have a heritage of family, and life-long family friendships.  This heritage is very costly and I believe in this day and age, highly coveted; making it an extremely rich inheritance.  The cost was paid by the first generation.  The connections my parents chose to foster and sacrifice for.  Obviously, it was a sacrifice with a VERY HIGH return.  With each of those groups I remember having “Friday night home group”.  It was simply, every Friday night was potluck, we rotated the house where we met; after dinner the adults did a study, debriefed their week with each other, prayed together, and we kids played.  No organized childcare; just all of us were expected to get along – if there was blood we were allowed to interrupt the adults. 

I’m sure there were times the adults wondered at their sanity, I’m sure there were several times different ones wished they could do something else.  But, it was what we did.  Not every other week, 1^st & 3^rd, 2^nd & 4^th, once a month - none of that, just simply EACH Friday.  I want to do this for my children.  We have had a few different organized gatherings through church, but it isn’t the same.  It’s for a short time.  I want my kids to have other adults they can turn to; I want them to have relationships, as adults, with people they have essentially known their “whole life”.

Yes, I am exhausted, wiped out from the people connections over the last five days.  I have been with more people over the last five days, than I would normally be around in a couple months time.  For this extreme introvert – that is hard!  Very hard, to the point that the last gathering I could hardly get past the perimeter of the room.  I claimed a sister-friend’s baby and hung on the edge.  After two hours, I did make it about six feet in, but I was still struggling.  I wish I could say I’ve grown out of that, but I can’t.  At the same time, they were such rich times, with the constant flow of memories.  I wouldn’t trade it, just wish they didn’t wipe me out so hard.

*2000-2003 were some of the worst years of my life.  I knew my marriage was over (he moved out), but was in a waiting “game”; he didn’t live in our home, but the divorce didn’t legally happen until 2003.  Blessedly, God has allowed me to forget many things from those years and try as I might – I can not piece time together.   

Mother's Day

For those who do not like today, who cringe when they hear the words, those who chose to not go to church today because the reminder hurts too bad.  I’m sorry.  I’m sorry for your hurting heart.

Today is a day meant to honor your mother and for those who are mothers to be honored.  However, what about the women whose mothers have passed away, or who have had a child(ren) pass away – by miscarriage; stillborn; or either moments or years after being born?  What about the women who are infertile or not married yet?  This day of celebration does not take into consideration any of their feelings.  For some mothers, they may have several children, but this is the first Mother’s Day without one of their children.  Some women it is their first Mother’s Day without their mom.

I want to say my heart is heavy for the not married yet, the women in their 20s or 30s who ache to be a wife and mother.  I don’t say this to invalidate those who have struggled with the heartache of infertility or death.  I say this to validate the ache in the heart of single women; who thought they would be married and a mother “by now”; those who feel as if they’ve been forgotten.  I just want to say – you are not forgotten.  You are precious.  You are loved mightily.  He promised and He is faithful!

Turn to your Heavenly Father and let Him comfort you.  He is the One who made you want to be a mother; it is His design.  It’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be upset, it’s okay to really not like the way things are going in life.  BUT, make sure you take those cries, hurts, dislikes, and frustrations to God – He is the only one who will be able to fill the hurting hole all the way.  The support and value of everything and everyone will just disintegrate, whether quickly or after time.  The only One who can tryly satisfy your soul is the Father.

The two goof balls on this earth who call me mom (on a 15' snowbank).

My boy is HOME!

Okay...so those of you who have read my blog for a while know life has recently been a bit of a trial for me.  When I wrote the post It's Life....some more, I talked about a few bowling balls being thrown my way.  I told you about my job, and now I can talk about another one!  My boy is home! {sigh}

While those "balls" weren't all bad, they still had a lot of emotion involved.  This was something very good, an answer to prayer really.  Remember when I talked about an international trip?  Vince was one of three who went as a work team to the Philippines to help my brother work on their new house.  He was gone three weeks.  He had an amazing time.  Since getting home from the airport we have listened to stories for a couple hours {I don't think we've even scratched the surface.} and seen his several hundred photos.  I'm so excited for him {especially now that he's home :-D!}; it was my idea, it was planned suddenly, and I had convinced myself the Philippines weren't too far away {in order to ease my heart with Zach & Jane being there}.  After all we share water....HA!  That delusion lasted until just over half way through his flight from Vancouver, Canada to Hong Kong...ya, less than 24 hours from his departure I was questioning my sanity big time.  I will write more about the last month - but for now I'm going to keep it short and share some of his pictures with you.  These are things he saw with his own eyes, in real life. Enjoy!

Isn't it gorgeous?!

Apparently, these are totally usable/used, they will bail the water out, 

fill it up with people {a LOT of people, as in 20 or so!}, 

and head on their way up the river.

a Jeepny -- a common mode of transportation

He took these with his iTouch4 -- he also took many videos so he could share the sights and sounds with us.  He did an amazing job with documenting the trip and I'm so happy to have him home!  I can't wait to pour over his pictures some more.  He took some amazingly picturesque pictures, for someone who isn't "really into taking pictures" and used an iTouch because he didn't want to carry around a camera.  I will share more of my favorites as time goes on. :-D

On Faith & Fear

First, a few definitions I found in some notes while doing taxes digging out tax paperwork.  Unfortunately, I don’t have an exact reference, but I would guess they came from a Bible Study several years back.  Belief is mental acceptance of, or conviction in the truth or actuality of something; Faith goes beyond mental acceptance; believing what we can’t see, what is not tangible, and in some cases does not make sense.  Faith does not rest on logical proof or material evidence; Fear is a feeling of anxiety.

My mom made a statement this last week that has continued to replay in my mind -"the faith it takes to not have fear and how we work that out in real life." The thought stemmed from the story of King Hezekiah, in Chronicles.  It took immense faith for him to stay faithful to God and not bow to the stronger countries surrounding Jerusalem.  {It is a good series by Lynn Austin, Chronicles of the Kings.  (I actually read them in ebook form on my nook.)}  It really struck me because I don’t often think about not being fearful as being full of faith.

Based on the above definitions to not be fearful and be full of faith would be the same as – not allowing the feeling of anxiety and instead reaching beyond my mental acceptance of what I can’t see, is not tangible, doesn’t necessarily make sense, and doesn’t rest on logical proof or material evidence.

I took this picture yesterday and think it is a good representation of how life feels right now – feelings of anxiety {fear} because so much is looming bigger than life, and only a small portion is in focus.  

What is in focus isn't even what is immediately before me.  However, because I know that what I can see clearly is only a small portion of the big picture{a beautiful picture, showing His Glory}, even though there isn't tangible clarity just ahead, I can see and rest in the clarity just beyond.  

{Faith} is evidenced in my knowing He will provide, He will protect, He does love me – that is clear.  Abundantly clear.  His provision, protection, and love is manifested with blessings as numerous as the grains of sand/crystals of snow {depending on your location and the season,  :-D}.  

Are you looking for the blessings He has given you, or have you tripped on fear?

Holy, Holy, Holy

Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty!


Early in the morning our song shall rise to Thee;

Holy, holy, holy, merciful and mighty!


God in three Persons, blessed Trinity!

Holy, holy, holy! All the saints adore Thee,


Casting down their golden crowns around the glassy sea;


Cherubim and seraphim falling down before Thee,


Who was, and is, and evermore shall be.

Holy, holy, holy! Though the darkness hide Thee,


Though the eye of sinful man Thy glory may not see;


Only Thou art holy; there is none beside Thee,


Perfect in pow’r, in love, and purity.

Holy, holy, holy! Lord God Almighty!


All Thy works shall praise Thy Name, in earth, and sky, and sea;


Holy, holy, holy; merciful and mighty!


God in three Persons, blessed Trinity!

{source}

This was a rough week.  I can't really put my finger on why, just on many levels there were endless prayers.  Hard things {you know, the ones only prayer can get you through}: A friend having a biopsy.  A friend at the brink of quitting on the spot, but struggling to remain godly in a bad situation. Work problems.  Trying to figure out what I'm going to do for income.
Good things {Thank you Lord, You are merciful and loving}: Anticipation of a fun Friday evening.   Sewing.  I found a DVD tutorial I really needed (like 2 months ago) - already purchased, just pushed back between file folders (found it while getting tax stuff together).  A friend's medical report coming back early and being good.  A face-to-face coffee visit with a friend.  My sweet niece coming to visit.
Yuck things {just get over it already!}: Getting tax paperwork together.  Endless tired because of daylight savings {I hate daylight savings-I don't get enough sleep as it is, don't take another hour from me.  And the adding an hour, what a joke - I never see it :-D!}. Two sick children.

Did I mention we had a fun Friday evening planned?  The Moody Bible Institute's Symphonic Band is on their Alaska tour and tonight we attended their concert, and are hosting some of the students.  Moody has a special place in my heart because one of "my" youth group boys is attending there this year, and both my brother and sister-in-law attended Moody Bible.  My sister-in-law graduated from Moody Bible in Chicago and my brother was in the last (or next to the last) graduating class of Moody Aviation in Tennessee.  Anyway, the week was long and did not go as I planned.  I felt anxious, to the point of almost not going to the concert.  Both kids felt lousy and I just felt on the verge of freaking out.  {I really hate it when mind over matter doesn't work}  In spite of the week and all feelings, this afternoon I chose to sew.  And I chose to go.

I mentioned to a friend earlier in the week I wanted to make little lunch sacks to pack the girls' lunches in tomorrow - her comment was "two things you love - to sew and give it away" :-D she knows me.... So, I sewed. And took lots of deep breaths.  I got the bags done and loved every minute of working on them, imagining what the girls would be like, what instruments they would play, and what color they would choose.  I made the bags out of paint drop cloth {my new favorite material} and pieces of my favorite bias tape I had left over from other projects - a quilt, two aprons, and my mom's kuspuk. Tonight I felt like too much of a dork - so I didn't give it to them.  I feel so selfish because I did something I enjoyed and I don't want them to feel like they have to like it.

Enough of the lunch sacks though and back to the concert, it. was. so. good.  I can't really describe it {totally a heart thing}, but I can say they directed the music to be focused on prayer.  Several times different students shared an interpretive reading of various chapters and had it incorporate with a personal life experience of theirs; the two I really remember were the ones on joy and divorce.  Choosing to see joy where others may not.  The pain and hurt in divorce.  I struggled through many of the songs to not bawl, but especially after those two shared.  As I reflect over the evening I find it interesting those are the two imbedded in my heart.  The last song they played was "Holy, Holy, Holy" - -it is hours later and that is still going through my head.  Amazing.  He is Holy - "though the eye of sinful man Thy glory may not see".   {deep breath - "Holy, Holy, Holy" is playing right now on Pandora Radio as I type.  Yes God, I'm listening.}

Sun!

Today I skipped out on all the need/want/have-to-do's on all my lists.  I went to visit with dear friends and meet a new baby.  It was WONDERFUL!  To top it off, the sun was bright and warm.  I of course had my "real coat" with me, but I only wore a long sleeve shirt with a down vest.  I felt so light.  I was seriously relishing how warm it was and how maybe spring would come sooner {as long as I don't look at the __ feet of snow on the ground, in piles EVERYwhere}; after all it was so warm {I would have guessed high-30s/mid-40s}.  Then I saw a thermometer.  At that point I questioned my sanity.  It was 19*.  Yes, that is above zero and not a negative number - but seriously?!  19* is still a LONG ways from melting.

I needed a break from the computer and when I'm home I don't see the sun in my apartment.  So, since I was out, my children were with my mom, and the sun was shining - I drove.  I didn't do my normal start at point A, and do errands in a line and end without back-tracking.  I kind of lost the ability to care, the sun was in my eyes and it was "warm".  In the end, I checked in with mom - all was fine at home, but she & a friend were getting to sew.  I was almost tempted to go home and sew.  In the end, I got a coffee, went to the highest parking lot in town, and parked.  I sat in my car, looking at this view, with warm sun in my face and my eyeballs were very happy.  I had planned to read some stuff I needed to get through, but instead got to catch up with a friend from out of state.  {the wonders of cell phones :-)....}

We are blessed to live in Alaska.  In spring I do wonder why I choose to be here - but look at that view!  I could have turned in pretty much any direction and the view was the same - fresh, crisp, white snow on mountains, glistening to the point of hurting your eyes.  Alaska is home, even though I have heart ties in Wisconsin where I spent several childhood years (so I have a strong all things farm pull),  I have lived most of my life here.  While I'd love to see/shop at some of the wonderful places I see posted about {antiques, fabric, home decor, etc.}; I'd really miss Alaska.  I do really wish we had spring though.  :-D

Just so you know - I'm not totally a pessimist....
  -- Snow storm on April 26, 2008 ... Alaska in April
  -- Snow in April, 2009 ... April Fool's or not?
  -- Not trusting warm in mid-March, 2010 ... SPRING! (maybe, but probably not)
Uh, huh...I'm just finally learning.  Enjoy it in the moment, but don't depend on it staying :-D.  Yes, I am thick skulled and slow to get this -- but this is the last three years' records....so, I still wish we had spring and think in the future I just need to plan to go see spring elsewhere.  I can see the flowers, smell the flower, and feel the warm sun; then come back and be content to wait until Memorial Day weekend to do my planting :-D.

It's the little things...

Today my kids and I were needing to kill a bit of time, so we headed to Value Village (our version of GoodWill).  I love thrift store shopping when prices are cheap, too often for the price I find something at Value Village I can buy it brand new on clearance. That annoys me!

Anyway, so we'd done the rounds looking for legos, skis, "butterfly" shirts (shirts with big floppy sleeves-I remember them as angel sleeves), and jeans, so we were walking the perimeter of the store to the checkout.  We, of course, detoured past the craft stuff (I left it all there) and into housewares - I was just glancing over the dishes to see if anything jumped out at me.  Let me take you on a short bunny trail: my mom has a thing for purses, mine is for tote bags; my mom has a thing for bowls (all sizes, and no more than 2 the same-drives me nuts!), yet mine is for plates.  Not big plates, but saucer size and salad plate size (they stack, no matter the size).  We don't use dinner plates, except for serving.  Back to Value Village in the housewares... I see these plates, a batch of two with a rubber band.  They're saucer size, don't have a cup indent, and have beautiful flowers on them.  I LOVE flowers, real flowers, pretty much all of them; but when it comes to photos/items pained floral I'm picky.

Okay, I'm taking you on another bunny trail:  My dad's mom loved flowers as much as I do.    This love of flowers has been ingrained in me since before remembering meeting my grandma (at age 7).  It is a tangible connection I have even now with my grandma.  I loved my grandma dearly, she passed away eight years ago now.  I know she is in Heaven with a new, well, healed body, but I'm selfish and I still miss her.  When I see certain batches of flowers, or a certain kind of painting, or type of tea cup/mug, maybe the way the sun shines through a window onto a batch of flowers - those memories of being a child from 7-14 years of age coming rushing over me, it is as if it were yesterday.  Those are the years our family lived in northern Wisonsin, living near my grandparents.  It is the way I remember her, so many, many years ago (20+ years).  I greatly loved my grandma and I still miss her.  

I picked them up to discover they were sitting on another batch of two with a rubber band, salad plate size - really, my two favorite sizes?  My breathe caught, they were so pretty!  And, there were two of each - one for Christine & I; or for a treat with a friend & I (just need to find teacup/mug)...depending on what the situation is at the moment.  All four plates looked unused, no scratch marks, and still very evenly shiny. (By the way, I left the two dinner plates that matched there :-D) 

I decided I really wanted them, but I wouldn't pay more than $5-7 per set - and if they were $5, then I was only going to get one size.  In other words I wasn't going to pay more than $5 for plates I didn't need, I just really wanted them :-D.   All the other plates I thought were interesting were $5.99/$6.99 for a single plate, I took a deep breath before checking the price, and guess what?!  The two little ones, $.99; the two bigger ones, $1.29 --- that made $2.28 for all four!  That is my kind of deal!!  I was so stoked, it wasn't even a debate in my mind.  (not even taking the four and leaving the two bigger ones)  My kids saw my face and agreed, "just get them mom".  My mind was SCREAMING, "God, you are so funny!  Not only did you let me get ALL of them (when I don't need them) - You gave them all to me at less than half of what I was willing to pay for one!"

My kitchen walls are dark brown/red, and the other accent/decor is khaki/burlapy/vintage mini roses/tea cups/etc.  Not dainty, more rustic.  Our other plates are an avocadoy green, dark brown/red, and off white, our bowls are off white -- so it really does all go together.  Once summer comes I can take pictures in my kitchen, but until then they really don't turn out.

I know they are just stuff, but when I see them it is the "ache/catch/thought" that causes me to take a long, slow, deep breath and just say "Thank You, Heavenly Father.  Thank You for giving me a grandma who made You her focus, taught me, and loved me so dearly.*  Thank You for all of your provisions".  A lot of my reaction is due to the painting on these plates, they remind me of my grandma.  He IS in the little things!  I know plates are so insignificant in the grand scheme of life, yet He knew it would make me so happy.  Their coloring totally goes in my kitchen with my other colors and pottery.

{fast forward several hours} - I've taken my kids to see The Lorax, we've gone to get groceries, and now we're home making pizza for our Friday night pizza night.  This whole time, I feel just a bit giddy, like a dork who can't quit thinking of the good deal God gave me today.  So, I'm washing dishes and while washing the new plates, I turn it over to wash the bottom side - guess what, they're Cheri Blum!  It shocked me -  Cheri Blum is the only artist who I've ever consistently seen a picture/painting and it catches my breath; I even had checks of hers once, it was the only time I ever paid full price to re-order the same checks.  I had no idea!







*I don't in any way mean my parents didn't, but grandma understood me.  I got my creativeness from her, she & I were very similar in many ways - physically and mentally.

More states, more family…more of 2011’s many adventures

{Important Note} I want to make a simple statement with complex depth - I know I am incredibly blessed. Not only does my immediate family get along well and love each other incredibly; my extended family is no different. There are now 29 of us (first cousins, spouses, and children) plus our 2 sets of parents; we have an amazing family heritage that none of us take for granted. We currently live in 3 states; 6 towns/cities; and 2 countries.

(our 2011 continued...)

mid-June: We landed late Friday night the 16th, my cousin Jon picked us up and took us to their house. My aunt & uncle were there as well for overnight because they’d driven up from Madison, WI. Saturday morning we all (11 of us – 5 adults + 6 children) piled into two suburbans and drove to Nate & Christina’s, house 2 hours away. We spent a couple days there with all of us (18) in one house and had a blast!

A little note of explanation: I grew up with my two brothers, three boy cousins (there are two more cousins, but I didn’t grow up with them), and family friends with three boys. At the time my cousins lived just up the road from us, I have many fond memories of all our family gatherings. They were good years with many good times. Now, 25+ years later we all have children and our kids all get along very well. Eight years ago my kids and I were living in my old childhood home to help take care of my grandparents (my dad’s parents). Three weeks after we got there my grandma passed away; shortly after my grandpa started kidney dialysis three times per week. My kids and I were able to stay on and help with his adjustment of not having grandma after nearly 60 years of marriage and the effects of dialysis. At that time Nate & Christina lived across the field and we got to know each other real well; it was so much fun. It was fun to have an adult relationship with my cousin; his wife, Christina, and I get along real well and have similar interests.

Then we went multiple directions for the week. Uncle Dave & Aunt Sharon returned to Madison and my kids and I followed Jon & Kathy back to their house, near the border of MN and WI. It was really fun to hang out with Jon & Kathy and their kids. We didn’t know them as well because we hadn’t had the chance while living with Grandpa to spend time together. On Monday evening Kathy & I, with the kids, joined Jon at the Science Museum in Minneapolis. WOW! We’ve never been to such a big museum – it was a ton of fun. Jon explained so much more to the kids and made it so much fun – Science is his thing. :-) The rest of the week was spent getting to know each other better, late night visits, and my first antique store visit - in general lots of just hanging out together. It was cool & rainy and so much fun to spend the time just drinking coffee, visiting, and holding baby Gregory. One day we went to walk along the river, but there was a painting class all set up along the bank and at the “mouth” of the trail we had planned to walk – because it was cold & windy we decided not to disturb them to get 6 children past, just to turn around and come back … but we got good cousin pictures by the bridge :-)!

On Friday, my kids & I headed out to Madison on our own. It was very strange, it is landscape I recognize, remember, and love – so much farm country; yet it seemed so foreign too. We drove it several times when we were living there six years ago, but this time it was just us – without Grandpa. We went to Madison to celebrate my Uncle Dave’s retirement. (I have two uncles, one from each side of the family, both are named David). It was a wonderful weekend with many friends and family. Saturday morning a family friend (my aunts best friend) invited all of us to breakfast, then she took Christine & I to the capital for a tour. I didn’t know this was an interest of Christine’s but she LOVED it! Then we went to Hobby Lobby (my first time ever!), we had to be quick …it was so hard. There was so much that was fun, but it wouldn’t fit in my luggage to get back to Alaska! When we got back to the house, Nate & Christina had arrived with their kids. My aunt & uncle’s landlord are very good friends of theirs; they have lived side-by-side in the duplex for nearly 20 years. Anyway, the landlord’s friends had invited us (kids and our children) to use their pool on Saturday afternoon. All of the kids loved the heated pool on a beautiful, sunny day. They played hard for a couple hours. Then we all went back and started to get everything finished up for Sunday’s party. Christina and I ran out to get a few more groceries and other items needed for the party. We did sneak another quick trip into Hobby Lobby, then Wal-mart, and brought back dinner. Sunday after church was the retirement party, clean up, and a late evening bonfire. So many friends and family were there, some I hadn’t seen since I was in 6^th grade. Then on Monday the guys were doing some packing and loading trucks, so we girls (16 of us) went to Olbrich Gardens. It was so much fun. Aunt Sharon, Gabby, Christine & I went when we visited with Grandpa once and it was fun to go back. The rest of them had gone in different groups over the last year as well. When we got back to the house it was time for lunch and then Nate, Christina, and I with all our children (7) piled into the two vehicles and headed north. Only two came with Christina & I in the car, Nate took the other 5 and pulled the trailer. It was fun – so much happened in such a short amount of time!

Nate and Christina live near where I spent many happy childhood years growing up in northern Wisconsin. We spent the week hanging out, they live on a lake and the kids were wet and/or fishing most of every day. Tuesday evening Christina & I drove an hour to Sam’s Club just to find they had closed a half hour before we got there. We were getting the groceries needed for the upcoming 4^th of July weekend…so we did a little other shopping and headed back home knowing we’d head back up Friday morning when the guys were going to go south to get a bunch of wheat. The weekend ahead was going to be 30 of us all staying at the same house. We spent the next couple days just relaxing and enjoying hanging out, much like the week prior – just a different family of cousins. Thursday night we had a plan and all was going well – Uncle Dave would be coming in early AM and the guys, all of them even the 2 year old, were going to drive south to get the wheat. By noon, Christina & I and the 4 girls (ages 12, 10, 9, & 7) were going to drive north to do a girl day of shopping and get the groceries we didn’t get on Tues. The other 19 would then arrive Saturday morning.

July 1^st - Friday morning started a bit stressful and not very fun, and the day went downhill from there – with an absolutely wonderful afternoon in the middle. So, very early in the morning Nate realized the water pump had gone out during the night. He was able to get a hold of a family friend who has a plumbing business, he said he’d stop by on his way to another job. He actually had the part and was able to get the pump fixed and up and running. Then we all loaded up to head out, the guys to the south and the girls to the north. We girls had a blast; I have never been on a shopping trip like that before. So much fun to just go from girly place to girly place and hear our girls’ hearts being filled with love just from hangin’ with us. We even found a few good deals and some more summer clothes (we hadn’t taken cool enough clothes for mid-west summer). When we walked out of the mall it was starting to sprinkle, one of the little ones was so excited to have a new umbrella and wanted to use it….well, the rain went from little sprinkles to DUMPING about half way to the car! She got to use her umbrella and many were taking cover with her before getting to the car. Those of us not under the umbrella were soaked, thoroughly. It continued to dump, hard. We decided to not go to a restaurant for dinner, but just head to Sam’s Club, the girls were all so content they were fine with just eating at Sam’s. We got our groceries and when we were leaving Sam’s it was raining so hard Christina could barely see while driving down the hill out of Duluth and across the bridge. It was about 7pm and we were headed back towards the house, but first needed to stop at Wal-mart (in Superior) to get a few more items. By the time we got to town we were aware there was really unfriendly weather all around us. Icky colored sky and dumping rain with thunder & lightening. We started hearing on the news there were tornado warnings and the wind was starting to blow like crazy…. We were doing lots of praying and singing along with KLOVE to keep from going totally over the edge of being freaked. We knew Who was in control of all the circumstances and we just kept reminding ourselves & each other. Christina was in contact with her family who were camped at a campground near her house and found out they had just been told to leave, she told them to all go to her house even though there was no power in the area. In talking to Christina’s brother-in-law, who was on his way to her house (instead of the campground), he had to cut his way down the highway with his chainsaw. Okay, we were freaked. However, God had everything so orchestrated that we met up with the guys at the crossroads of the two highways – us driving south, them coming north, and we all needed to drive east. We were able to pass them some snacks and then we were off; from that point on we followed them. As they drove north they saw the mass destruction from the storm, where we came from the north and it was just rain. As we followed them, we several times had to drive on the opposite side of the road because only the tops of the trees had been cut and that was just to clear one side of the road. By the time we got to the house it was 10pm. (what should have been a 30-45 min drive had been nearly 2 hours) There were three trees across the driveway that Christina’s BIL cut to get into the driveway. We then had to unload all the groceries in the pitch black with just headlights and flashlights to see with. All the freezer/frig food was sorted so it could all be put into the frig/freezer at once. As we drove and saw the destruction we knew the power would not be back on any time soon. The next morning the guys got us a generator and the rest of our family came. We proceeded to have a wonderful weekend! We spent the 4^th of July floating down the Namekagon River (and getting majorly sunburned!).

The rest of our time was spent enjoying each other; coffee and diet coke; lots of hanging out; visiting; coffee and diet coke; swimming; fishing; enjoying the pontoon boat, with coffee or diet coke (of course) depending on time of day – morning, afternoon, or evening. After all the other families returned to their homes and we got the house back into order after a weekend of no water or power, but LOTS of fellowship; Christina and I took the kids into Superior. Superior is where I spent seven wonderful years of childhood; it was so fun to see places that are familiar and things really haven’t changed much. It’s not a city. I got to go into my first ever quilt store with the intention of buying material. We let the kids watch a movie in the car while we went in – it was soooo much fun to see all the variety, choose some, and then actually purchase it! {That could be addicting!!!!} I’m used to going in to touch and feel, but not buy. I’ve typically purchased fabric from Jo-Ann’s and their selection of good feeling material is much smaller. {sigh} Anyway, the next day we went to another town half way to Jon & Kathy’s (we had to do some return kid swapping) and went into an antique store, another quilt store and then the three of us took all 11 children to see Cars2. In the end the three youngest didn’t do so well in the movie, so it was eight children and myself who watched it all then walked the couple blocks to the scrapbook store……oh, the fun of tons of kids and family and all being together. Love it! After that, we had just a week of hanging and being slow when it was time to pack and head to Jon & Kathy’s again for the last couple days. Jon was gone on a business trip so Christina and her kids joined in staying at Jon & Kathy’s. The last couple days was more hanging (with coffee and diet coke), packing (with coffee and diet coke), and visiting (with more coffee and diet coke) – what we didn’t do was sleep. The last afternoon Kathy took the kids & I to the airport – it was so hard to say goodbye. Is it not a most amazing blessing to spend a month with family and still have it hard to say goodbye – on both sides?! Thank you Christina and Kathy for your amazing, generous, and kind hearts – I love you both so much!

Rest of July & August: We flew back to Alaska on the 15^th. Within 18 hours of landing (at 11pm) we had come home, unpacked, washed laundry, slept a couple hours, got up, re-packed, re-loaded the van and headed to our family cabin six hours away. It is a six hour drive, then a half hour boat ride, then a half mile hike up the hill… At that point, I slept. Two days later Vince turned 14! Two days after that Christine, my mom, and I headed back home. Vince stayed to work on the new cabin with my dad. Once home again I started some house projects and minimal organizing…as well as finishing unpacking and actually putting some stuff away. (Finally, just three days ago I finished putting away some things from our trip that I’d unpacked, set down, and never got back to!) I actually started my first house project I’ve wanted to do for several years. I will post more on this later, but the end of July I ripped out my living room carpet! My dad wasn’t (still isn’t) impressed. I love it! My living room is just the plywood sub-floor (now painted), but I love it, Love IT, LOVE IT!

September: Before I knew it, it was time to start school! Then an opportunity came up for Vince and I to join my dad on a trip to Washington DC. I was so excited! I have wanted to go to Washington DC and the East Coast for forever (seriously, since I was like 8). Many hours were spent deciding what we would do in our time there. September went really fast with all kinds of life - cleaning, school, the fair, work, some projects, and lots of DC planning.

October: We had four days of exploring and a day before and after for travel days. {Do you know that it takes 10 hours to get from Anchorage to DC and that was with a fairly quick stop over in Seattle; the trip back took us 18 hours! (we had an added stop over in LA) Christine stayed with mom; she didn’t want to go with us – she didn’t want to do the massive walking we were going to be doing. It was really cool to go and be with Vince; he was amazing on the subway! There were times I got a bit freaked about how far below ground we were – and going under a river – ack! We never got lost- once we were a block off from where we thought we’d come up from underground, but yea for iPhone’s – we were able to find our location in moments. We didn’t make it into as many of the Smithsonian’s as I would have tried to see; I let Vince be the ‘driver’ of where we went and what we saw. We went to the Air & Space Museum – twice J! We stood in line and went into the Capital, but once we were inside we decided we really wanted to wait for someday, with Christine. She loves seeing capital buildings. It was close to 70* each day, we didn’t bring cool enough clothes – it was October. I brought layers, but the lightest ones were more than we needed. We were warm and walked lots! By the time we returned from DC we were four weeks from my brother Zach and his wife and kids to come home from the Philippines. This was the magical month I got to get my new camera - a Nikon D3100! So excited and anxious to learn more!! Lots more house projects, organizing, and cleaning were started, but I also had an unexpected increase in my work load which really changed things up.

November & December: Zach, Jane, and their kids arrived on the 7^th of November. Since then it has been lots of family – all day, every day. Five adults, five children, three generations, three sets of parents, three sets of siblings, two spousal sets, and a set of cousins all living in the same main 1600sf house (my apartment and the cabin in the back yard are not included in that) makes for fun times. When my other brother, his wife, and their little one come there that adds another parental set, spousal set, and cousin set to the mix of our immediate family of 13. We have had an incredibly, abundantly more than we could imagine, family-full holiday season. In November I was able to get my new sewing machine - for 14 years I've used a 1942 Viking Husqvarna. I still love that machine greatly - however, I really needed more than straight front and back stitching. {I'm sure more will come on this later :-D} Within three weeks it will be just my brother Matt and his family and my kids and I here. We will be back to living in two countries and two towns in Alaska. Crazy how accessible the world is now. I remember when cheap communication was snail mail and that took weeks to get from the lower 48 to Alaska…now we can instantly talk to family via video when they’re in the Philippines-for free.

And that wraps up 2011. None of what I have written even goes into all the personal growth I experienced this last year, or even so many things I learned. What I feel comfortable broadcasting on the internet will come out in bits and pieces as time goes by I’m sure. For now though this is a nutshell of the big events of our last year.

….notice none of this very long winded year in review covered anything basic like crafting, organizing, home school, and being a mom to two. :-D! I promise, I won't have more posts that are this long winded. And, I will start putting in photos of projects that have happened around this house over the last year and new projects I've been working on --- like the doll clothes I made last week. So fun! Thanks for reading - if you've actually read all of this you've learned more about me :-).

2011 in review, Jan thru mid-June...

We had an amazing 2011! There were so many highlights I can’t possibly make this short. God was greatly gracious to us and we were very blessed this last year, with minimal hardships and frustrations. I’m sorry to say those hardships and frustrations have threatened to extinguish the overwhelming truths of God’s promises and love for me. There is so much more I could say, but won’t. After all, this is the world wide internet and it includes others. I’m sure as time goes on, I get things better sorted in my head, and I’m understanding the wisdom gained from the experiences and memories you will eventually hear about it. :-)

This was also a monumental year for me personally. There are so many things I learned, I don’t think I could even put it all into words. There are times I read something and think – “yes, that is exactly it!” Maybe some day I’ll do a post of quotes to try to describe some of these ‘personal growths’. The year 2011 signifies the fact I have been out of high school for 20 years! This seems unbelievable to me. I don’t feel old enough to be out that long. The year brought opportunities I have dreamt of for much of my life. I understand better the saying of others, “I feel younger now than I did 15 years ago.”

{warning – this will be really long and may not be very enjoyable to you, but it is a trip down memory lane for my kids & I. If you want to just skim it – I highlighted the main parts :-D.}

January: I made the decision for our family to return to home schooling. It was for the best. If anyone has questions and I am happy to answer them via email. I’m just not comfortable with posting specific reasons world-wide. We did one week of school after Christmas break. The next day, Tuesday January 11^th, I un-enrolled the kids from the school they were going to, then finished the process of un-enrolling them from the home school program we use and in the same hour re-enrolled them into that same home school program. We had the privilege of watching my niece several hours a week. The kids loved having her come on a regular basis.

February and March: I was in my last class. A programming class. I HATE coding, I’m fine with using code and learning what to change for appearance changes, but please, please, please don’t ever make me write code for a program from a blank slate to follow through with all the possible errors! The first programming class I had was May/June of 2010. I was very close to quitting school at that point. I had a horrible teacher for that class and barely passed. At least the teacher I had for this last class was WAY better and I got a high B. For these months I was in the programming class, home schooling, part-time job, and being mom. I was tired, didn't feel well, and living in a blur most of the time.

April: On April 10^th I turned in my last final! I was done with the associates degree in Information Technology and Web Design. I was done – 20 months after starting. Unfortunately, after starting (I realized during the above mentioned first programming class) that I didn’t really want this degree, I wanted Graphic Design. So, while I’m excited I’m done and happy I have a piece of paper to prove I did some college, I am looking at teaching myself what I really wanted to know…as soon as life slows down a bit. In April I bought one way tickets out of state to the cheapest location I could find…{yes, I realize that is a very backwards way to do things, as well as being very uncharacteristic for me :-D. Regardless, God blessed me in this moment of insanity anyways.}. I was just done with feeling yuck all the time, being confined to the computer (doing school), and the lack of sun we had the previous summer (and what sun we did have I missed because I was inside on the computer doing school), and the wind! I was so weary of the wind; and one morning about 10am I heard it start again. When I heard it everything in me went nuts. I got online, searched found a really cheap ticket, called mom (in Juneau at the time) and said “I’m going with the kids, you want to join us? I don’t have any more of a plan, but at the very least we can go for a few days, staying in a hotel, and fly back.” Shockingly, she agreed. Within 3 hours of the wind starting I had tickets out of the state. “Real life” seemed really far away and I was trying hard to recuperate from full-time school, part-time job, and home school down to “just” home school and part-time job. So…why not ‘run away’…it was logical at the moment; and I haven’t ever regretted it. I bought tickets to Denver, Colorado for $150 each! Just so you can understand how good that is - today tickets to Seattle are $530 one way/person! (granted that is no notice - wait a couple weeks and it's $230 for one way/person). All I knew for sure was we’d go to Focus on the Family and see Whit’s End. Something I’ve wanted to take the kids to see for years. I knew the Air Force Academy was across the road and the Garden of the Gods was near as well. (I went to Summit Ministries in Colorado Springs for a session the summer I graduated from high school).

May: May was spent continuing to recuperate and learn to live life again without daily check-ins into class and no homework assignments. Doing “normal” things like cleaning, laundry, and planning possibilities for our summer trip. In late May I was told I needed to make the lifestyle change of going gluten free and dairy free. There were several health issues we were looking for answers to; one of which was to change my hypothyroid medicine. For the next three months I was to be very diligent about being gluten free and dairy free. How fun - switch to a totally different way of eating when heading out on what had become a six week trip to span Colorado, Wyoming, Minnesota, and Wisconsin … oh joy.

June: On the 6^th mom, the kids, and I flew from Anchorage to Denver. We left the car rental lot at 8:30am; went to a restaurant nearby for breakfast then headed to Colorado Springs. We went to Focus on the Family and visited Whit’s End. It was so much fun to “see” Whit’s End and the location of Adventures in Odyssey. The kids got one of Mr. Whitaker’s World Famous Chocolate Soda (Wod-Fam-Choc-Sod). After Focus on the Family went across the highway to the Air Force Academy. It was amazing to see the chapel – I haven’t seen it since 1991 and it was just as amazing as I remembered! Then we went exploring a bit in Colorado Springs (drove a bit in town), including the Garden of the Gods. It was so much fun to show the kids monumental things I saw so many years ago – plus, it is where mom grew up. After the Garden of the Gods we drove back to Denver – we returned the car at 8:30pm! My cousin, Loneta and Aunt Carol were at the car lot to pick us up, we then went to my cousin’s house for the night where my uncle (mom’s brother) was waiting for us. I haven’t seen my cousin since 1991 either… It was fun to see her really cool house! I will be enjoying pictures of her house and yard over the next cold, wintery months for sure! On Wednesday morning all seven of us loaded into Loneta’s jeep and Uncle Dave & Aunt Carol’s truck; we headed to Steamboat Springs, Colorado. What a gorgeous drive! Loneta had a photo shoot for her job and we got to join her. It was so cool to see a bit of her life. Mom & I got to go for a couple hours and see the end of their magazine photo shoot – for real! Oh, it was so wonderful. My creative thoughts started to thaw and there was a trickle of a desire again. The kids stayed with Uncle Dave & Aunt Carol – in the pool – where else :-D. Friday morning we packed up and Loneta headed back to Denver while the rest of us climbed into Uncle Dave & Aunt Carol’s truck to head to Cody, Wyoming. We drove for 14 hours – six of us in a truck – and it was so much fun! We got to drive along the Oregon Trail and see the ruts (still!) from the covered wagons, and into South Pass City & Atlantic City. Uncle Dave and Aunt Carol knew so much history – it was like we were on a personal narrated tour! It was so amazing to see the countryside and the truck was so comfortable we weren’t even desperate to get out when we got there. We spent the next week in Cody and it’s surrounding areas. The last time I was there was about 30 years ago for Christmas, so for all practical purposes it was my first time. It really was a history rich, enjoyable week and wonderful start to the summer. On the 16^th Uncle Dave and Aunt Carol took us to the airport in Billings, Montana. The kids & I were flying to Minneapolis (via Denver?!) and a couple hours after our flight left mom flew back to Anchorage.

… to be continued later. I forgot how much went into this last year. This is just the timeframe from January to mid-June…. Wow, 2011 was a FULL year!