This week...

I have spent too much time with my face glued to the computer screen this week.  As I can, I will share the way too many projects going on - I'm trying to learn/re-learn Dreamweaver to create a website, and "quickly" get my blog and business websites set up using WordPress - Ha!  I definitely feel as if I should just pull out my hair and save myself many, many, many hours.  Ugh!  I went to school to learn this stuff, trying to avoid this exact scenario. Does this mean I need to go back to school to finish learning it, or does it mean you can't learn from school what you need to work out and experience in life?

Speaking of school - SCHOOL'S OUT!  YAHOO!  All of our end of the year paperwork is turned in, and approved -- As homeschool mom/teacher, I am officially done too :-D!  I wonder, are there other homeschool mom's out there who are so excited when it's break time?  I absolutely love homeschooling, it is my choice alone, and I am not real rigid with when/how everything gets done, as long as it does get done.  But, boy does it feel good when I have my part done and turned in!  I feel as if the ever present lingering questions of "Is ... done?", "Where are we on...?", "Have we done enough?" - are over! Yes, Yes, and Yes -- It is done, where are we on--oh, we are done, and yes, we have done enough.  This year is complete!  {big, deep sigh of relief}  I now have a 9th & 7th grader...uh, wait! can we go back?  Maybe I don't want this year to be over, let's back up several months (or years).  I know, think anyone would notice if I just had my children repeat?  :-)

I have also determined to be a more "fun" mom, being less 'single parenty' mom as I can be...meaning when I take a break on the 'have to do right now list', I'm not blogging.  Besides that - the sun finally came out and we felt some warmth, if the sun goes behind a cloud it is still chilly air (there's still tons of snow on the mountains), but there is the idea summer might come yet. :-)  Yesterday we put the bike rack on the back of the van and used it for the first time.  We only put their two on to start with, so the kids rode while I walked.  But, I did buy myself a helmet afterwards....

Today, {I actually saw 70.5* on my thermometer!} we took Ali to the park - just for fun!  When we got there the park was packed, we were so bummed - we'd planned so specifically for mid-morning (after she came, before lunch & nap), before school was out for the day and before school is out for the summer....but, we forgot to take into account schools are having all their "last day" activities.  Oh, ya.  We shuffled in through the gate working to not step on any little kids.  Hoping to find a spot, Ali turned to Vince and decided there was no way she was getting down.  We were just getting ready to leave when we saw another school bus show up full of kids - but that school bus loaded up the kids (from the first group) and the second group stopped to each their lunch first. Yes!  We got to spend 30-45 min playing before it started to get crowded again.  My kids have really wanted to take Ali to a big slide - one that is slick (the one we have in our yard is not).  Here are a few pictures of our time there, I was excited to try my camera again after getting it "fixed".

Mom came with us to the park, here she is with her two oldest and youngest grandkids.  

The three middles are in the Philippines.  

{okay, color isn't too bad - after all it is bright, bright, bright}

The swirly tube slide.

 {the color was just so washed out & blah... so I changed it to black & white}

Vince went with Ali the first time, then she wanted to go on her own, so he just followed closely.   {obviously I didn't anticipate the right lighting setting - smack in the middle at 0 wasn't it}

 Then she went completely on her own.  

When she came out her hair was TOTAL static in a round ball all around her head.  

{hmm...auto wasn't it either}

After the swirly slide, we went back to the big slide.  

Ali was a little quicker coming down and a bit surprised, she'd forgotten this slide was much more slick.

But - she still ended with a grin and went back for more. 

{I so, So, SO wish this was in focus!} 

It was fun to go to the park with a 2 year old again.  I don't feel old enough to say this, but here goes anyway, I really, really miss that age.  I know.  I remember.  It can be so tiring, so absolutely draining.  But it is also so very soul satisfying.  When she felt uncertain, she wanted me.  She adores her cousins, but sometimes there just isn't a replacement for a mom/auntie.  I want to enjoy these middle school years, but so far I daily fight the feeling of failure.  I think part of it is because now I'm working/trying to start a business, and before I wasn't.  I'm definitely more tired now - but it's a mental tired, rather than the physical tired.  I so thoroughly have to cling to my Heavenly Father each and every day - it is truly only by His grace, strength, and mercy I make it through each day.  I won't drag this out anymore, but if it can encourage one of you reader-friends to cherish the days and time you have with your little ones, then it is worth the vulnerability.  :-) 

At the park I realized my camera is still not acting right, I have determined it isn't just me and my lack of knowledge though.  It doesn't even work that great on auto!  This is so frustrating - the store I bought it from says it's been too long, it's not their problem.  Nikon says, "don't use it on manual just use auto" {NOT why I bought a DSLR!!!}, besides that it doesn't work on auto either.  The protection plan I bought says, it won't go into effect until after the first year, until then it's Nikon's responsibility.  Back to Nikon I went and they walked me through doing a bunch of setting changes and again said, "Don't use it on auto."  He said the kit lens (18-55) isn't meant to focus closer than one foot.  Seriously?!  With my Sony I could rest the end on my jeans and as long as it was tipped enough for light, it focused.  I keep trying to go back to using my old digital Sony, it doesn't focus all the time - but at least it has good color and an amazing zoom.  However, it is a point-and-shoot and I really wanted to learn how to use a camera - but maybe it isn't the time for me right now.  I want to be able to zoom in and take really close-ups, without changing lenses.  Is this possible with a DSLR?

Do any of you kind reader-friends have any suggestions for me?

{ps - just a warning:  It will probably be several days until I post again, unless I need to for sanity purposes.  There is a much anticipated graduation, several weddings, a couple graduation parties, and three funerals in the next 9 days.  Besides the necessity of working, being mom, and life in general.  Thankfully, we are done with school for the year!}