Book Break - Captivating #12

Grab your favorite drink, get comfortable, and let's get ready to be encouraged.  

We are finishing this book today.

Okay, this is the last chapter in the book Captivating.  As with chapters 1-11, these are all direct quotes from the book.  As I've stated before, my hope is you have been (or will be someday) curious and intrigued enough to read this book in its entirety for yourself.  Even though this is chapter 12, I have found when it is fresh in the mind, if I go back and start reading it again immediately the earlier chapters stand out in such a different way and still mean so much. 

For Chapter 12 to be more meaningful for you, we are going to review a term used and described in Chapter 2.  {If you have the time, go back and read that chapter first, for the best understanding of this chapter}  On pages 31 - 33, John and Stasi discuss more completely ezer kenegdo.  This is just one very little quote from page 32, “A better translation therefore of ezer would be ‘lifesaver.’ Kenegdo means alongside, or opposite to, a counterpart.”  

~~~

Captivating

Chapter 12 ~ An Irreplaceable Role

*      (pg 202) “If there is a real woman - even the trace of one - still there inside the grumbling, it can be brought to life again.  If there’s one wee spark under all those ashes, we’ll blow it till the whole pile is red and clear.” --C.S.Lewis

*      The story of Cinderella turns upon an invitation.

*      No other life seems possible.  This is her fate.  Then, word from the Prince arrives - an invitation to a ball.

*      It is at that point that all hell breaks loose.  Her longings are awakened.  Her enemies become enraged.  And her life is never the same.

*      As a woman, you don’t need to strive or arrange; you don’t need to make it happen.  You only need to respond.

*      (pg 203) She wanted to go. But it took courage not to abandon all hope even after she danced with the Prince.

*      But she became the woman she was born to be, and the kingdom was never the same.  It is a beautiful parable.

*      The same holds true for Mary, the mother of Jesus - only it’s far, far more weighty.

*      The angel came as the courier of the King.  But still, she needed to say yes.  He would not force the whole thing upon her.  Her heart needed to be willing.  She would need her heart through all that followed.

*      Mary needed a steadfastness of heart to keep saying “Yes” to God. But she became the woman she was born to be, and the Kingdom was never the same.  It all started with an invitation.

The Power of a Woman’s Life

*      (pg 204)  Women have been essential to every great movement of God.

*      It’s clear that women supported the ministry of Jesus, financially and emotionally, and women were the ones who stayed with him when nearly all the men hightailed it and ran.

*      And of course, the salvation of mankind rested on the courage of a woman, a teenage girl.  What if she had said no? What if any of them had said no?

*      To try and give honor to women in the seep of history is impossible here.

*      (pg 205) It would be easier to think of any of the great or small turning points in God’s rescue of mankind and try to find one where women were not irreplaceable. 

*      History is still unfolding, and your existence on this earth as a woman is proof that you have an irreplaceable role to play.  You are a woman, are you not? An ezer kenegdo to your core.

*      Your lingering disbelief (may it be fading away) that anything important hangs on your life is only evidence of the long assault on your heart by the one who knows who you could be and fears you.

*      Your feminine heart is an invitation by your Creator.

*      Some dream, some desire, something so core to who you are it almost hurts to think of it.  The very longing is such a part of our being it’s scary even to give it a voice.  You may not know the dream itself yet.  But you know the longing to play an irreplaceable part.

Your Irreplaceable Role

*      (pg 206)  Our dear friend Carol has a bright mind and keen intellect.

*      And she just gave up what looked like a golden career move to stay at home full time with her newborn son.

*      There is nothing on earth Carol would rather do - yet it was an incredibly difficult decision to make.  Her family doesn’t understand; she feels she has let them down.

*      She has given up so much of her own life in order to bring life to her little boy.  Learning to mother her child is requiring more of her heart and soul than she thought possible.

*      (pg 207) God called Carol to the high position of mothering, and she is choosing to die a thousand small deaths to her self every single day while at the same time falling ever more in love with her son.

*      Carol chose to say “yes” to God and followed his lead into the hidden life of a stay-at-home mom.

*      And she is playing the most irreplaceable, essential, powerful, life-impacting role imaginable.

*      (pg 209) You see, our true places as women in God’s Story are as diverse and unique as wildflowers in a field.  No two look quite the same.  But we all share certain spheres of influence to which we are called to be an ezer.

In Your Relationships

*      Eve is God’s relational specialist given to the world to keep relationship a priority.

*      Men have a way of letting these things slip.  They’ll go months without checking in on the health of their relationships.  Years, even.

*      And the World simply uses people, then spits them out when they are worn out and no longer “on top of their game.”

*      Our Enemy despises relationship, hates love in any form, fears its redemptive power.  This is why God sent Eve.  Women are needed to protect relationships, bring them back to center stage where they belong.

*      It is here, starting in our circles of intimacy, that we are first and foremost women.

*      (pg 210) You have an irreplaceable role in your relationships.  No one can be to the people in your life who you can be to them.  No one can offer what you can offer.

*      There are many things God calls us to do, but loving well always comes first.  And don’t your relationships feel opposed?  Of course.  They must be fought for.

*      Satan knew that to take out Adam, all he had to do was take out Eve - his ezer kenegdo.  It worked rather well, and he has not abandoned the basic plan ever since.

*      Your place in the world as God’s heart for relationship is vital.

*      All the Enemy has to do to destroy people’s lives is to get them isolated, a lamb separated from the flock.

In the Body of Christ

*      (pg 210) Your life is also part of a larger movement, a mystical fellowship, the Kingdom of God advancing here on earth.

*      That fellowship of the Ransomed being Restored - that is an amazing fellowship to be a part of.

*      The fellowship of Christ is messy because it, too, is opposed.  And here you have an irreplaceable role to play.

*      We haven’t time here to address the issues surrounding “the proper role of women” in the church.

*      (pg 211) However, we do believe it is far more helpful to start with Design - with what God designed a woman to be and to offer. That comes first.

*      A woman is not the same as a man (thank God!).  She is designed differently.  We hope that’s clear by now.  Doesn’t it follow that her contributions will be uniquely feminine?

*      Furthermore, many of the Scriptures on the Role of women in the church are a reflection of God’s concern for a woman’s protection and spiritual covering.

*      Issues of headship and authority are intended for the benefit of women, not their suppression.  You know how dangerous it can be to try and come alive as a truly feminine woman.

*      God desires that wherever and however you offer yourself to the Body of Christ, you’ll have the protection of good men over you.  Not to hold you back, but to set you free as a woman.

*      Christ has made man as his warrior, to offer his strength on behalf of Eve so that she might flourish.

*      If you are called, God will make a way.  Either where you are or through a change of circumstances.

In the World

*      (pg 212) Stepping further out into your farthest sphere of influence, you have something essential to offer the World.  It may be in the form of a notable career.  It may be a hidden life, well lived.

*      Either way, the crucial issue is this: It is as a woman you must live here.

*      Do not be naive.  The World is still deeply marred by the Fall.  Men still dominate in many sinful ways (remember the curse).

*      Women who “make it” there tend to be dominating and controlling (remember Fallen Eve).  The Evil One holds sway over the World and its systems (I John 5:19).

*      In the World you must be as cunning as a Rahab, an Esther, a Tamar.  You must walk wisely. You must not let them shape you into their view of what a woman is.  You’ll end up a man.

*      What you have to offer is as a woman.  Uniquely feminine.

*      Above all, you must live in that World as a response to the invitation of Jesus, for you will be hurt if he has not called you there.  You will be covered if he has.

What is Written on Your Heart

*      (pg 212) As I said earlier, the invitations of Jesus come to us in many ways. 

*      Sometimes they come through a circumstance, an opportunity that opens before us.  Sometimes they come through other people who see something in us that we may not yet see, and they invite us to step forth in some way.

*      But God’s invitations ultimately are matters of the heart.

*      (pg 213) They come through our passions, those desires set deep within us. 

*      You will find that as God restores your heart and sets you free, you will recover long-lost passions, long-forsaken dreams.

Do Not Give Way to Fear

*      (pg 213) Of course this is scary.

*      Responding to the invitations of Jesus often feels like the riskiest thing we’ve ever done.

*      Webster defines “risk” as exposing one’s life to the possibility of injury, damage, or loss. 

*      The life of the friends of God is a life of profound risk.  The risk of loving others. The risk of stepping out and offering, speaking up and following our God-given dreams. The risk of playing the irreplaceable role that is ours to play.

*      Of course it is hard.  If it were easy, you’d see lots of women living this way.

*      (pg 214) The reason we fear to step out is because we know that it might not go well (is that an understatement?).  We have a history of wounds screaming at us to play it safe.

*      We feel so deeply that if it doesn’t go well, if we are not received well, their reaction becomes the verdict on our lives, on our very beings, on our hearts.  We fear that our deepest doubts about ourselves as women will be confirmed.  Again.

*      (pg 215) But we don’t get to wait to offer our lives until we have our acts together.  We don’t get that luxury.

*      God asks us to be vulnerable.  He invites us to share and give in our weaknesses.  He wants us to offer the beauty that he has given us even when we are keenly aware that it is not all that we wish it were.  He wants us to trust him.

*      How it turns out is no longer the point.  Living in this way, as a woman alive, is a choice we make because it is the woman we want to be.  It is our loving response to our Lover’s invitation.

Be Present

*      The gentleman had a twinkle in his eye, a spark, as if he had discovered the secret to life and it brought him much joy.  His wife was a tiny woman who I can best describe as being very present.

*      She was not a woman hiding, nor a woman afraid.  She was a woman at rest, at home with herself and with all pistons firing.  She was alive and beautiful.

*      This is what she lived by.  This is what she invited others into.

-        Now we should live when the pulse of life is strong.  Life is a tenuous thing…fragile, fleeting.  Don’t wait for tomorrow.  Be here now!  Be here now!  Be here now!

*      (pg 216) To live as an authentic, ransomed, and redeemed woman means to be real and present in this moment.

*      If we continue to hide, much will be lost.  We cannot have intimacy with God or anyone else if we stay hidden and offer only who we think we ought to be or what we believe is wanted.

*      We cannot play the ezer role we were meant to play if we remain bound by shame and fear, presenting only to the world the face we have learned is safe. 

*      You have only one life to live.  It would be best to live your own.

*      God really does want you to know who you are.  He wants to be able to understand the story of your life, to know where you have come from, and to know where you are going.

*      There is freedom there.  Freedom to be and to offer and to love.  So, may we take a moment and remind you who you truly are?

*      (pg 217) You are woman.  An image bearer of God.  The Crown of Creation.

*      As a woman who has been ransomed and redeemed, you can be strong and tender.  You speak to the world of God’s mercy, mystery, beauty, and his desire for intimate relationship.

*      You are inviting; you can risk being vulnerable, offering the weight of your life as well as your need for more because you are safe in God’s love.

*      The eyes of his heart are ever upon you.  The King is captivated by your beauty.

*      You are certainly called to be a woman, wherever else he leads you.

Take My Hand

*      (pg 218) Jesus is extending his hand to you.  He is inviting you to dance with him. 

*      His gaze is fixed on you.  He is captivated by your beauty.  He is smiling.  He cares nothing of the opinion of others.  He is standing.  He will lead.  He waits for your response.

~~~

How about you?

Have you been held back by fear?

Is it hard for you to believe either of the following:

~   “You see, our true places as women in God’s Story are as diverse and unique as wildflowers in a field.” (pg 209)

~   “You are woman.  An image bearer of God.  The Crown of Creation.” (pg 217)

It is okay if you realize you are held back by fear or if you do find the above statements hard to believe, there is no condemnation in that.  It is our reality here on earth.  Just, please, don’t stay there.  Too many of us have been confused about this for too long and it is exactly why I believe this message is so important for us to hear/read/learn.  I struggle in both of these areas.  It is only by the continual Grace of God and my dependence on Him I haven’t crumbled from fear or disbelief.  Find a friend you can talk to about this, or if you would rather, please feel free to contact me at avcjoy(at)gmail(dot)com.  God meant for us to communicate with each other.  The best way we can combat these lies is to face them head on while asking for help in standing against them.  God created each of us individually, and desires an intimate, individual relationship with each of us; but He also fully intended us to love, care, and lean on each other to get through the hardships of life.  Life is hard.  He never promised it would be easy.  He did promise to help us each step of the way – when we ask Him to.